Don't Catch My Disease

Favorite daughter Brigid just returned from Girls State recently.  Like her brother when he went to Boys State five years ago, she was excited about the prospect of meeting new people and having some fun.  Well, she met new people.  That's it.  Ok, I am probably exaggerating.  She said it was a great experience.  She said that knowing what she knows now, she would recommend it to others.  She also said she has no desire to go back.   One of the reasons was the rules.  The other was that my sweet, intelligent daughter is catching my disease.

Let's talk about rules.  As an educator, I'm a huge fan of rules....well, procedures anyway.  Students need to know how to turn in papers, how to conduct research and the right way to collaborate.  All of that takes procedures and rules.  People who learn how to follow the rules when they're young, seem to do better with them when they become adults.  (Speeding aside, of course...that's one that trips me up all the time!)  That said, what is with those who feel the need to create rules just for rules sake.  Really?  Brig shared some of the rules of GS with me and I was surprised and a bit miffed for her.  The girls, at GIRLS STATE, in an all GIRL environment were not allowed off their dorm floor in running shorts...or shorts for that matter - even during their "free time".    They were to wear dresses the entire time.  Um, ok.    They were not allowed to use the restrooms between speakers.  Um, WHAT?  Finally, the one that really threw me was on the girls' last night, the floor Nazis, guards, monitors set their alarms to wake up every two hours to make sure the girls were not still up talking.  Seems there are motion sensor lights and if the girls even ventured into the other side of the suite the lights would come on.  If the "monitors" saw the lights on, the girls got into trouble.  Wow.    Brig was shocked.  So was I.  These girls are some of the best and brightest and they were treated like little kids.  This was nothing like the shorts, t-shirts, fun and late night conversations that her brother Conor experienced at Boys State.  They learned the same information.  They learned the same branches of the government.  But the experiences were vastly different. It seems to me that if you have a group of intelligent young ladies on the precipice of adulthood, that they ought to be treated as such. 

Disease.  The definition is simple- a disease is an ailment, a sickness or illness.  My daughter has caught mine. I guess you could call it "peoplephobia".  I'm not scared of them however, I just simply don't want to be around them.   I laughingly tell others that I don't "like people".  It usually gets a giggle or smirk because people think I am joking.   I'm not.  Truly, my intentions are good and interactions with people are genuine.  I can do the small talk thing with professionals to a certain degree and I love working with teachers in my district.  That's my job. But,  I can't stand the banal, humdrum sometimes cutthroat encounters that revolve around my kids' school functions.  This includes ball games, music concerts and other extracurricular events.  Wow.  Women, as a gender, are mean, gossipy, and snarky.  So are their husbands.  I choose not to interact.  I pack my iPad, full of games and good books, and a beverage sadly lacking in alcohol and head to the top of the bleachers.  There I park it, all by my lonesome and watch the game/activity.  I love it...because I'm alone.  I might venture over to talk briefly to others, but for the most part, I am blissfully unaware of the cutting remarks aimed at the players, coaches and teachers in the building.  Peace.   Ahhhh.....

The same is true about crowded functions.  I loathe them.  This includes but is not limited to trips to Walmart - must be the tenth circle of hell, the DMV, jury duty and huge church gatherings.  I recently traveled to Washington DC with my kids.  The airport just about pushed me over the edge.  How can so many idiots be in one place at the same time.  And of course, at the airport, they are all mad as hornets due to missed connections and delays.  So they rant and rave and curse at the top of their lungs, causing me to push up the volume on my iPod to drown them out while grinding my teeth in an effort to keep from telling them to shut the heck up.  Places like Arlington Cemetery and the Lincoln Memorial sent me into orbit, too.  At Arlington, I saw a grown, flip flop and dirty t-shirt wearing man dump his hot Pepsi into the grass....ON A GRAVE!  Seriously?  At the Lincoln Memorial, there are signs asking for visitors to show respect and decorum.  Who are they kidding?  I saw a wife shouting directions to her husband to get his finger in the right place so it looked like he was picking Lincoln's nose. C'mon people, have some respect. 

All of these instances over my lifetime\ have caused me to come to the conclusion that I really don't like people.  I like/love my friends.  I love my family (sometimes I don't like them all the time....lol).  But honestly, I can truly take or leave the rest of the population.  Mostly leave. 

Now it seems Brig is experiencing the same symptoms of exasperation and bewilderment when surrounded by people.   Her chief complaint about Girls State was the fact that she was SURROUNDED ALL THE TIME.  And one of the girls in close proximity to her was a hugger. NOOOOOOOOO!   I felt for her.  I get it.  While there is no hope for my son Conor (he decided he doesn't like people many moons ago),  perhaps Brig can turn it around and come out of her teens unscathed and with a positive attitude about her peers and society as a whole.  I'm not going to hold my breath that this will happen, but a girl can dream, right?

Talk about TRAUMATIZED!

The name of this blog may have you questioning why I picked it.  It's not a terribly interesting story, but I'll share it anyway.  I was watching The View (don't judge me, I was on summer break) one day and Whoopi Goldberg was wearing a shirt that had "Traumatized by Mediocrity" on it.  I LOVED IT! It's like my sarcastic and somewhat cynical view of the world was summed up with three little words.  Fantastic!  I had to have that shirt.  I found it too, and then quickly dismissed the idea of owning it because it had a $75 price tag. As if.   So, I called a local sporting goods store and asked them to make it for me.  Um, yeah.  I asked for cursive and some girly swirls...this is what I got. (I'm pictured here with favorite son, Conor.  He will be thrilled that I posted this picture for everyone to see.) Seriously?  In the long run, I got the shirt for free because it was NOT what I asked for and nobody else in the store knew what it meant.  Go figure.

Mediocrity is everywhere, and sad to say that includes the field of education.    You all had the teacher who was a few years from retirement but who had, in no uncertain terms, "retired" years before and just kept showing up.  They copied the same worksheets and lectured the entire class period in that monotone "anyone, anyone?" kind of voice.(Ferris Buhler's Day off, great movie, right?)   Sad to say, those people still exist.  They plod along and do the bare minimum to get by, when with a little effort they could be incredible.  They simply don't care, are too afraid to ask for help,  think getting better would be too much work, or are completely okay with being mediocre.  I don't get that.  I really don't.  I', not saying that I think their intent is bad, per say. However, I don't think it's ok, especially when dealing with students, to aim low.  Wow.
  
Don't get me wrong, not all teachers are like that.  In fact, in our district, there are some teachers who are ROCKSTARS!  They completely get it and hone their craft by attending professional development, scouring the internet for creative ideas and taking courses to further their knowledge on things like technology and Common Core.  They stay after school to help students, take loads of work home with them to grade and show up an hour early to make sure they are prepared for the day.  They strive to make their classes interesting and meaningful.  They build strong relationships with their kids and treat them with dignity and respect.   They are the ones who keep me believing that things can change - that by example, they may push a teacher who is stuck in the mediocre phase to want more.  I'm praying this turns out to be true.

Mediocrity is NOT limited to the field of education.  You have the checkout clerk who smacks gum and checks her cell phone when she is supposed to be waiting on customers.  You have the customer service workers who are rude and abrasive when their job, by definition, is to help consumers.  And please, don't even get me started on employees at the DMV.  Seriously?  How many of you have waited in line to renew a license or change a tag on your vehicle?  Could there be a more unwelcoming environment?  And we have no option...we HAVE to be there.  They know this, so they don't have to strive to "get better".  They sip coffee and talk on the phone, while the poor fools in line get angrier by the minute as their lunch hours slip away.  And what baffles me is that there always seems to be a plethora of workers milling about, yet only one is actually helping patrons.  What's up with that?

People amaze me at their lack of sense, lack of good taste, and laziness on a regular basis.  It seems, to me, that there is an overwhelming part of the population that is perfectly happy with being idiots.  Thus, I give you a few pictures from an email I got today entitled "Parents of the Year".  I think this proves, yet again, how incongruous it is that we need a license to drive, hunt and fish, but anyone can be a parent.

Church Ladies Retreat

Ok, I have to admit for a second there I had a flashback to Dana Carvey and his Church Lady bit on SNL.  Great stuff.  If you have time, look it up on YouTube.  Don't be offended, it was done in fun.

Anyway, I had the wonderful opportunity to help host a Ladies' Retreat last month.  It has taken this long to get things posted because I am in education, and it's May, and it's nice outside, and...and...ok, my name is Amy and I'm a procrastinator.  (with good intentions)

My mom and cousin, Brad.  

My mom (see left...isn't she beautiful?), after attending many wonderful retreats herself, wanted in on the action.  Now I must admit, when she hatched this plan, I was worried.  She had just come down from running a Corvette convention for the Midwest (no small feat) and was already brainstorming this next endeavor.  I think she is a "planning junkie".  My poor dad.  She just retired, so time will tell.  My sister and I wanted to be involved and thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to work with mom and our aunt Carolyn to pull this off.  We had a lot of laughs, some great conversation and wonderful time spent together.  Here's what we learned along the way:

Water bottles: 
I really wish I would have gotten a better picture of these.  I scoured the internet for water bottle labels and let me tell you, most websites were ridiculously expensive.  On a shoestring budget, that didn't fly.  So, I called Office Max.  They were so helpful!  While they have several labels they sell commercially for water bottles, it was still a tad pricey.  Office Max angel to the rescue.  She recommended shipping labels.  They are basically water proof because of the weather.  We went with that and they were only.89 a sheet!  What a bargain!  We did discover that when the bottles were in the fridge and cool, the labels began to peel up a bit.  That's when we slapped a strip of packing tape over the top of each one and called it a day.  They were cute and a fun touch to the weekend. 

Theme:  There is a fantastic book out there called "Not a Fan" by Kyle Idleman.  The book description says it best... (From Amazon...see link)  Are you a follower of Jesus? Don't answer too quickly. In fact, you may want to read this book before you answer at all. Consider it a 'Define the Relationship' conversation to determine exactly where you stand. You may indeed be a passionate, fully devoted follower of Jesus. Or, you may be just a fan who admires Jesus but isn't ready to let him cramp your style. Then again, maybe you're not into Jesus, period. In any case, don't take the question---Are you a follower of Jesus?---lightly. Some people don't know what they've said yes to and other people don't realize what they've said no to, says Pastor Kyle Idleman. But Jesus is ready to clearly define the relationship he wants with his followers. Not a Fan calls you to consider the demands and rewards of being a true disciple. With frankness sprinkled with humor, Idleman invites you to live the way Jesus lived, love the way he loved, pray the way he prayed, and never give up living for the One who gave his all for you.  Great, right?  Mom had read the book and suggested it to me.  From there the theme for the Ladies' Retreat seemed to take off!  We decided on "Fan or Follower?" and decorated accordingly.  

 This was obviously the "fan" side of the table decor.  The foam fingers were super simple, thanks to a template I found on Pinterest.  The pom-poms were interesting.  I wanted them, but again, I'm cheap.  So, my mom had some leftover plastic table cloths and I made them with those.  I folded them accordion style and cut 3/4 of the way to the edge.  I ended up getting 8 sets of pom-poms out of two table cloths. 

For the "Follower" side we decided on flip flops.  The Dollar Store/Tree/Bin, whatever your local folks call it, was a great resource.  Then, we took some material we had on hand and wound it around the plastic pieces for an added touch.  Hobby Lobby sells flowers, but again, $$$$.  Instead, over by the scrapbook material they sell a box of flower pieces.  I snagged that and some rhinestones and we made our own super-cute flowers that we hot-glued on the flops.    I'm a teacher, so I had access to a die cut machine.  That's how we did the footprints on the table runner.  My aunt spent a ton of time punching the paper that surrounds the candles.  When we shut the blinds and lit the candles they were beautiful!

We used rhinestone paperclips (Hobby Lobby) here and there that simply read "Fan or Follower" or "Determine the Relationship". 

 

We hit a party planning store for paper placemats.  Then, we found especially meaningful quotes from the book and typed them out.  The added touch was the purple footprints that my aunt cut out.  Loved those!  We tried to have a different quote on each placemat at the table.  That way the ladies could compare the quotes and discuss them. 

Office Max came to the rescue again.  Time was getting short and for some reason I HAD TO HAVE napkin rings.  This would be something I would not worry about in the future...live and learn, right?  Anyway, I called them and had them print file folder labels with our two sayings on them.  While a good idea, they were a bit too long so they lost something in the translation.  Oh well. 

Goodie Bag:  Mom found bags at the Dollar Tree.  To say they smelled like a feed lot would be too kind.  Honestly, I have no idea where those things were made, but they stank to high heaven.  She laid them in the sun for several days and that took the bite out of them but still...gross.  We put the water bottle, their program and a coffee cup in the bags.  We've all seen the pins about using Sharipe to create masterpieces out of plain cups, so we thought we would give it a try.  However, we did do some extensive research first.  What we found was that most people said the writing came off when used in the dishwasher.  Solution...don't put them in the dishwasher...geeze!  :-)  We also made little slips of paper that said "Hand made, hand wash" on them and put them in the mugs.  We stuck with our theme when decorating the mugs.  They said "Fan or Follower?"  and "Determine the Relationship".  We used an OIL BASED Sharpie and baked them in a 400 degree oven for 45 minutes.  Then we shut the oven off and let them cool in there.  A long process for over 80 mugs, but they were sure a hit with the ladies!

Food:  My sister, Michelle and I, were the cooks for this event as well. Our menus were as follows:
Friday Night
Potato Soup, Veggie Soup, Chilli, Veggies, Cheese , Crackers and Cookies.
Saturday Lunch:
Spaghetti, Olive Garden breadsticks, salad and brownies.
Saturday Dinner:
Taco salad bar, ice cream

We learned a few things about serving a meal to that many, too.  First, if you are going to serve pasta, have the pasta cooked and warming with the sauce on it already.  Trying to time things perfectly drove us nuts.  Second, the special touches do make a difference.  From the dollop of whipped cream and a strawberry on the top of the brownie to the homemade cinnamon sugar tortilla bowls for the ice cream, people feel pampered when they know there has been extra effort given.   We also learned that comfortable shoes are a MUST! 

My favorite part of the weekend was watching my mom do her "skit".  She based it on the book and equated how we, as women, can sometimes become "fans" without realizing it because we let other things come before our relationship with Christ.   She was nervous, but I think she did a fantastic job.  She never ceases to amaze me with her talents and loving heart.  I am blessed to call her mom.

So that was our weekend.  We had great fun and great fellowship.  And mom...well, she's already planning for next year!  ;-)

I am Woman, Hear me ROAR! or Building Shelves That are Cheap and Easy

Ok, I know it's a little silly to get worked up about completing a project.  Although as I mentioned before, I am more than a tad "follow-though allergic", I typically get a general amount of satisfaction for a completed task and move on.  This latest one, however, is a huge exception! A fact about being a single lady is that all the home repair, lawn trimming, car fixing and decision making falls on my shoulders.  There is no conversation after the kids go to bed about how to budget for a much needed repair, let alone how to do it.  So honestly, sometimes the upkeep of a home can be more than daunting when doing it solo.  I do have a wonderful support system in my Dad and a close friend who hires himself out at ridiculously cheap prices to help me, but I am stubborn enough and independent enough that I hate having to ask and or rely on them before moving forward with things.  Enter my latest project!  Since we moved, my garage has been the armpit of the house.  Really, I hated it.  It has some weird brown stuff that the walls are made of (note that here, both my Dad and friend could tell you the exact material...I don't care what it's called, just that it gets all over me when I lean against it...yuck).  I want Sheetrock.  No, I am not brave enough to attempt that.  Yet.  Anyway, the walls are gross, the previous owners painted the floor and it is always peeling and cracking.  It needs to be swept out all the time and the collection of crap over the last 15 years that has accumulated in there had me freaking out every time I pulled the car in. So I decided one Saturday morning that the garage needed shelves.  I did not want to wait for my dad to come visit - he has a house of his own he has almost totally redone over the last few months and is busy working outside now.  I didnt want to ask my friend, as I am cheap and impatient and wanted things done on my time frame.  Now understand that I didnt just head to Lowes with a wish and a prayer.  I had been researching shelves I wanted built some time in the future.  I had a plan and Pinterest, of course.  That's where I found the video above.  I watched it a million times, wrote things down, measured, wrote things down and THEN I headed to Lowes (on a wish and a prayer).

The little Lowes man was fabulous.  At first he looked at me like I was a nutcase but the more I talked the more he nodded so I felt like I was communicating ok.  I gave him my measurements:

I wanted 8ft long shelves and I wanted them 8 ft tall.  Problem is I have a Honda Civic.  (sigh)  So I had him cut a 4X8 piece of plywood into 6 sections that were 4 ft long and 16 inces wide.

I bought 9 8ft 2x3 board for my cleats and my legs.  I cut three of the boards in half - and left the legs alone.  These I left normal size and simply folded down the backseat and slipped them in.

Finally, I bought some self-drilling screws and was ready for my adventure.

After clearing away all the debris and clutter, I used my level to mark where my boards should go.  This is where I made my first mistake.  I measured the top cleat to go at the 8 foot mark, not taking into consideration I would need to drop it 3 inches to meet up with the top of the leg.  I was too high and had to take it down and begin again.  No worries, as I was using screws and it was super simple.  I was really irritated with myself, tough and had to hit McDonalds for happy hour to cheer myself up.  Maybe I should make more mistakes!

  Here is a picture of the cleats up and ready for the next step.

What IS that brown stuff called?  Ick!

The next step was to take each 4 ft board and attach a cleat to it.  That wasn't too difficult.  The thing to remember here is to make sure you have the same size board under both sides of the plywood - even though you are only attaching one.  It give support and helps you keep things even.  I did this x 6 shelves.  Please note, I am not wimpy, nor am I small...those shelves were HEAVY!  Be prepared.

The next step involved attaching the shelves to the wall cleats and the legs.  This is where I was glad I wasnt on hidden camera or anything.  I know I probably did it totally wrong but I don't care.  At first I was trying to be Super Woman and held the shelf at the same time as the leg and tried to drill in a screw.  Um, I was unsuccessful.  That's when favorite daughter B was called to help me.  Then I was on the right track.  I continued with the rest of the shelves and legs and low and  behold I had made shelves!!!  I know there are probably errors.  I realize even though I used my level that things may be a tad off.  I honestly didnt care.  My garage smelled like wood.  I had new, lovely, sturdy shelves and I felt like a rock star!!!  Here they are when I finished.  It may sound dumb to you, but this gets me very excited!  Now I am working on
bench for the front of my garage.  I'm on a roll!!!

We'll see how long I can keep this momentum going.  Thank you Pinterest.  Thank you Handy Guy in Youtube video.  Thanks mom and dad for gifting me tools now and then!  :-)

First Post...well, not really

There is something in this world that I am FANTASTIC at.  I mean really, I deserve some sort of award for my ability to start projects, blogs, a plethora of endeavors with as much gusto as humanly possible. I attack each project with starry-eyed dreams of what will be.  I purchase paint, fabric, lumber - all of it.  Then I get distracted.  Think ADD on a whole different level.  Another project comes up that MUST have my immediate attention. Life and work become so busy that I "back burner" my plans.  Low and behold, I never come back to them.   I think I lack the follow-through gene.    My house is littered with the remnants of projects gone by.  Half finished cross-stitch pieces, scrapbooks, home improvement projects-- I have them all and they silently mock me for my well intentioned yet hopeless allusions of grandeur.   

Even though I know all of this about myself, I have decided to be brave enough to give it another shot.  A dear friend of mine who is a tad bit older than I, told me that once you hit a certain age, things just sort of start to click.  The minutia that you allowed to clutter your life falls away and you finally give yourself a break.  With that break comes a whole new feeling of power.  I must admit, I listened to her with half an ear, never really believing it could be true for me, but happy that she'd found her "happy place".  Then I turned 45.

I really can't explain what happened, but it was like a switch was thrown.  In the last few weeks I have completed a number of projects.  So many, in fact, that I have sort of shocked myself.  I like this new feeling of accomplishment.  I am not naive enough to think that my world will totally change, but I hope I can keep it up.  Hence this blog.  I have started umpteen blogs over the years.  All have fallen by the wayside quickly,  not because I lost interest, but because as I said before, another project demanded my time (or that's what I told myself).  I decided to give it another go with this "Traumatized by Mediocrity" blog.  Perhaps I will explain my choice of titles in a post to follow. (Please note, I have plans to write another entry! Woot!)   Suffice it to say, I am excited about the possibilities this blog holds for me.  Even if I am the only one reading it, I hope it chronicles my successes and failures and that I can look back on what I've written and have a laugh or two.